To Have & To Hold
by Reetinkerbell
Summary: Draco is getting married. The problem is, Astoria is not a virgin, and he's in love with someone else. DracoxHermione, written for deflower draco. Mature.
1. Part 1

**Title**: To Have & To Hold**  
>Fandom<strong>: Harry Potter  
><strong>Characters<strong>: Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini, Astoria Greengrass.  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Draco is getting married. The problem is, Astoria is not a virgin, and he's in love with someone else.**  
>Rating<strong>: Mature**  
>Total<strong> **Word** **Count**: ca. 13 800**  
>Spoilers<strong>: AU.**  
>Author's<strong> **Note**:Thanks to my beta **shag_me_draco**.**  
>Distribution<strong>: Link only please.**  
>Written<strong>: August 2011 - For the Prompt Challenge at **deflower_draco** (at LiveJournal). Prompt used is at the end.

**To Have & To Hold** (1/4)

_Draco stared at himself in the mirror for a moment before he reached up and corrected the knot on his tie for the fifth time in as many minutes; this time moving it a centimetre to the left. _

_He wasn't nervous; nor was he ambivalent in regards to his impending marriage any longer, and the reason for the change made him unable to look away from the tragic image his reflection presented. _

_He was alone in the room, his groomsmen having escaped at the wave of his hand and Blaise having gone to check up on the guests, as per Draco's request. Lucius had never even entered the groom's domain, preferring instead to remain by his wife's side and mingle with the multitude of important guests Draco wouldn't have invited if he'd been in charge of anything concerning the wedding. _

_Draco sighed, moving the tie a centimetre to the right as he stared morosely at himself. "You are pathetic," he told his image; but the reflection didn't react, merely stared right back at him. _

_He wished Hermione was there; she'd snark at him as she fixed his tie to perfection, forbidding him to touch it again. Then she'd kick his arse to get him going to the altar. _

_But she wasn't there, so Draco had to do without her. _

_He tried to smile, needing to practise for the guests expectations of a happy groom, but he only managed a grimace. _

_The door opened just as Draco was about to tighten the knot on his tie, strangling himself, and his hands dropped back to his sides as he turned to face Blaise, glad for the intrusion. _

_Blaise's smile fell away as he saw the blank look on Draco's face, and he frowned as he closed the door behind him and came closer. "You all right, mate?" _

_Draco grimaced, hoping it looked enough like one of his smiles that he'd get away with it. "Of course. Just... nervous." _

_Blaise smiled again, clapping a hand on Draco's shoulder. "I don't see why you should be; you're marrying the love of your life, aren't you?" Blaise asked sarcastically, missing Draco's flinch as he turned them both towards the mirror. "And you have the luxury of knowing that your woman won't desert you at the altar!" he ribbed, his smile dropping when he saw Draco's lack of one. "Come on, buckle up, man! You've got a bride to claim. And hey," Blaise elbowed him gently, "even if you're worried about the wedding or the reception, at least you've got the wedding night to look forward to, huh? Must be nice to finally get laid after all these years!"_

_Draco grimaced again, sighing as he studied his tie and ignored his Best Man. Blaise frowned, looking concerned at Draco's lack of response. _

_"Are you seriously all right, mate?" he asked, moving to face Draco. "Because if you don't want to do this, we can just leave." _

_Draco scoffed. "Yeah, that'd go over well. She'd hex me blue, not to mention what her friends would do to me!"_

_"Screw her friends! If you're unhappy-"_

_"She has a lot of influential friends, Blaise," Draco reminded him. "And although they are technically her father's friends, they could- and would - still put a world of hurt on me for jilting her." He sighed heavily, squaring his shoulders and nodding with determination. "I have to marry Astoria," he said resolutely, "even if-" _

_"Even if what?" Blaise asked when he realised Draco wasn't going to finish. _

_Draco sighed heavily. "Nothing, it's nothing." He waved off Blaise's continued inquiries and moved towards the door. "They ready to start yet?" he deflected. _

_"Draco." _

_Draco turned and shook his head as he saw the look on Blaise's face, and his hand dropped from the door knob. "I'm in love with someone else." _

_Blaise nodded, not wholly surprised. "Who?" _

_Draco swallowed. "Hermione Granger."_

– – – – –

Draco smiled politely as Astoria as he handed her the cup of tea he'd just replenished. She smiled sweetly back at him, as polite as could be, and thanked him in a quiet voice. As Draco sat down beside her with his own cup of fresh tea, he glanced up at his parents; his mother smiled at him in encouragement while his father merely nodded in acknowledgement before looking away.

He turned back to his intended bride, unsure of what to say. Early in their acquaintance, he'd realised they had nothing in common aside of both having gone to Hogwarts - just like every other wizarding child in Great Britain - and been sorted into Slytherin. There was Daphne too, Astoria's elder sister, but as Draco's conversations with her had consisted of "_pass the salt, don't you just hate the Gryffindors, McGonagall is a prickly old witch and how about them Death Eaters anyway_", Draco felt ill at ease faking an interest in her life.

He'd much rather be at the Burrow for their usual Sunday lunch, surrounded by friends and warmth, not to mention the customary Quidditch game that always followed, than here, with his real family and the politeness of high society niceties.

When the silence between them had stretched on far too long, he plastered a fake smile on his face and turned to Astoria, to ask her about Daphne in as a polite way he could.

Instead, he found himself blinking like a fish, as Astoria winked at him over her tea cup. Draco looked away uncomfortably, not knowing what to think. He looked back at her again after a moment, sure he'd imagined it. She winked at him again, this time adding a flirtatious smile.

He looked away.

This was to be his wife, the woman he would one day _sleep_ with. Draco frowned, glancing back at her once more. She now seemed bored as she looked into her tea cup, then up at their parents seated some distance away to give the two of the privacy. Then, with a seductive bite of her lip, she moved closer to Draco on the settee.

She smiled coquettishly up at him as she leaned over to show off her magically enhanced cleavage.

"Have you thought any of the honeymoon?" she asked quietly so they wouldn't be overheard, leaning even closer.

Draco shook his head, bewildered and uncomfortable at her behaviour.

"I would need to know in advance where you are taking me," she smirked, "not that I will be... packing much."

She winked at him, seemingly uncaring at his lack of response.

Draco smiled back stiffly, wishing their conversation was over. Fortune came in the form of a house-elf, who announced supper was served.

When the evening eventually came to an end and Astoria and her parents left the Manor, following a long and rather awkward - for Draco at least - supper, Draco rose to retire to his room.

"Draco," Lucius called, stopping his son in his tracks.

Draco turned, ever the dutiful son. "Yes, Father?"

"I am very proud of you. Astoria, though a bit simpleminded, is the epitome of a pure-blood witch of good breeding; she has grace, she has power, she has a lineage good enough to be joined with ours and she has money. She'll make you a fine wife," Lucius said, nodding along with his words.

Draco faked a smile and nodded. "Thank you, Father. I quite agree about her. She'll make a fine wife," he said, adding silently to himself, _I just wish she could be someone else's fine wife_.

Walking up the stairs, Draco amused himself with imagining what his father would've said had he known the deplorable behavior Astoria had shown for someone of her station and place in society. Even if she was to be his wife, Draco shuddered; she shouldn't have acted so brazenly and tried to put her hand on his knee under the table while they ate.

It almost made him question whether or not she was still a virgin.

Once in his room, Draco sat down heavily on his bed with a sigh. He lay back, spreading his arms across the duvet and closing his eyes as he let the polite mask he'd worn all day slip from his face. The room was quiet but for his breathing and Draco felt himself calm from the events of the day - and the reminder of what was to come, far too soon.

After a few moments of calm breathing, he sat up on the edge on his bed. After removing his outer robe and tie, loosening the buttons on the stiff shirt he wore underneath, Draco grabbed the photo resting on his bedside table.

It was a photo of several young men and women; Dumbledore's Army, such as it'd been after the great wizard's death. Draco stood to the left, in the second row with an arm around Blaise and a hand on Neville's shoulder; once in a while, the hand moved as he poked photo-Neville in the ribs, making the other man dissolve in laughter. The photo had been taken a week before everyone split up into teams, the Trio going off to search for Horcruxes, and everyone else assisting where they could. At the time, Draco hadn't known what Hermione would be off doing, and only that accounted for the easy smile and relaxed posture he carried in the photo.

Draco didn't look at the antics of his seventeen-year-old self; instead, his eyes focused centre stage, and on the girl - the woman - who stood with her arms around Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley.

Hermione Granger, her bushy long hair made up in a tight braid that curved over her shoulder and fell down across a breast. Her smile wide, Draco watched as she turned first to Harry to say something, then back to look at the camera. Draco smiled gently, caressing her miniature face with the pad of his fingers, smiling as Hermione waved at him.

He wondered sometimes what Hermione saw when she looked at this photo; if the Draco in her frame ever waved at her, ever made it as obvious to her as it was to him looking at the photo now that he'd been smitten with her at the time the photo was taken; that he still was. He wondered if she ever looked at it, ever noticed him standing there gazing at her over the top of Terry's head. No one had ever said anything, though Neville sometimes looked at him oddly and that made Draco suspect he knew.

Draco sighed and fell back against the covers again, this time bringing the framed photo with him; he held it above him as he continued to stare at Hermione.

Without fully realising it, his hand drifted down to his trousers and unfastened them in a leisurely manner. Slipping the hand inside, Draco began stroking his rapidly hardening cock. As pre-come gathered at the head, he used it as lubrication and his strokes became both faster and harder.

He threw his head back and moaned quietly as he thumbed just under the ridge, closing his eyes for a moment, imagining that it was someone else's, far more delicate, hands touching him.

His breathing sped up along with his movements, and unable to prevent his hips from rising, Draco started to thrust into his hand as it came down on him. He opened his eyes once more to look at the innocent and smiling face of Hermione.

_Draco_, she would whisper over and over as she touched him. And she would kiss his neck, drag her teeth down the sensitive skin as he palmed the naked flesh of her delectable bum and her hair would be in his face and all he could smell and-

He came quickly then, with a strangled groan as he bit down on his lips to prevent himself from crying out her name, his eyes still firmly locked on her image.

As his breathing calmed, he turned to his side; grimacing at the wet strands of his come covering his still clothed chest and his hand. It had been a fleeting release, and now he was left feeling even more pathetic and cold than before.

He spelled himself clean, removed his clothes and got under the covers. The frame he placed back on his bedside table, and as the lights dimmed around him, he couldn't help but keep staring at it.

Sleep was long in coming.

– – – – –

Hermione knocked briefly on Draco's door before she opened it and stepped into his office. Her hands full and her eyes on her work, it was only when she saw him startle in her peripheral vision that she looked up; just in time to see him straighten in his chair as he replaced a framed photo back onto his desk.

"Oh," she said, "I didn't mean to interrupt..." she trailed off.

"You didn't," Draco quickly assured her shuffling some papers around as she came closer. "Won't you sit down?" he asked politely.

Hermione declined. "I'm just here to drop off some papers; your secretary seems to have gone missing and I don't want to just leave them on her desk," she explained handing over a handful of papers to him.

He took them, a slight frown marring his forehead as he glanced at the timepiece on his desk. "I hate to have to fire her," he said, "but this is not the first time she's left far too early for her lunch hour - and without notifying me too." He scrubbed a hand over his face, suddenly looking tired. "No matter." He smiled up at her. "Lunch?"

Hermione returned his smile. "I have to drop off a few more first," she held up her stack of papers, "but give me half an hour?"

Draco nodded. He moved the folder she'd given him on his desk, his eyes catching sight of the photo again and at once, his face turned pensive.

'"Do you ever think about..." he began softly, hesitatingly, "that night. What could've happened if-?"

Hermione's eyes widened. She knew instantly which night he was referring to; a night neither had brought up nor hinted towards in the two years since it'd happened. She was glad Draco's eyes were on his desk and not on her, as she struggled to compose herself and not blush as she remembered.

Her hesitance lasted a moment too long, but when he looked up at her, she'd managed to pull herself together. "Not really," she lied. "I mean, it was just after the battle, emotions running high - it was just the moment taking over."

"Was it?" Draco asked, studying her.

"Wasn't it?" Hermione returned, hoping he couldn't see how she struggled.

They stared at each other for a long moment; Hermione's heart beating fast, from the look on Draco's face and from the memory of how he'd looked at her that night when he'd found her.

"Hermione-" Draco started, but was interrupted as his door opened and Shelly stepped in, oblivious to the tension that'd formed in the room.

Hermione choose that moment to flee, calling a goodbye over her shoulder.

"Half an hour in the Atrium?" Draco called anxiously after her.

Hermione returned in the affirmative before she sidestepped his secretary and escaped, her heart pounding furiously, wondering why he'd chosen _now_ to bring it up when she thought he'd wanted to pretend it'd never happened at all.

She turned a corner and nearly bowled Neville over. Hit was sudden inspiration, she invited the visiting Professor to lunch with her and Draco, and although Hermione felt guilty about essentially using Neville as a buffer to defuse the tension that might otherwise arise, she justified it by the true desire she had to spend time and catch up with Neville. They often had lunch together when Neville came by the Ministry for bi-monthly Friday morning meetings with the Board, and though those lunches were often planned in advance to make sure as many of their friends were able to make it as possible, Hermione knew the three of them would have a great time on their own.

As they said their temporary goodbyes, Hermione made sure to insist that Neville resumed making the trip from Hogwarts to Molly's Sunday lunches at the Burrow, knowing that the soft-spoken Herbal Master would feel ill at ease joining them again without an invitation.

– – – – –

_"Hermione!"_

_Hermione turned and was immediately caught up in Draco's arms as he wrapped himself around her and held on tightly. _

_Hermione sobbed in relief into his shoulder, hugging him closely. "I thought you-" she swallowed the rest, unable to finish. _

_"I'm okay," he reassured her, stroking her dirty hair as she cried, releasing months of tension and worry now that it was finally over. _

_Once she'd gotten herself together enough to speak, she pulled back from him; not leaving the comfort of his arms completely, but enough so she could meet his eyes. _

_He had a nasty cut on his forehead and Hermione caressed away his too long fringe before placing a hand on his cheek. _

_"Have you seen the others?" she asked carefully. "I've only seen Pansy and Terry, _after_. I saw Neville too, but that was before the West Wing-" she broke off again, unable to say it out loud for fear that Neville, whom had been on his way towards the West Wing when she'd last seen him, had been caught under the rubble. _

_Draco squeezed her. "They're in the Great Hall; you were the only one missing," he whispered, pulling her close again. "I thought _you_-" he too was unable to finish, relief colouring his gravelly voice. _

_"We should get back then," Hermione said into his chest. _

_"Yes," Draco agreed against his hair, but didn't let her go. _

_She could feel his heart pound in his chest against her cheek and she relished the sound; he was alive. She allowed him to hold her for a moment longer, selfishly taking comfort from his embrace. But then she pulled away again. "They must be worried," she said. _

_Draco nodded, reluctantly letting her go. _

_Hermione had only taken one step away when he grabbed her arm, turning her back around to him. Hermione's eyes widened at the look on his face and then fell shut as he leaned down and kissed her. _

_But barely had his lips touched hers, gently and hesitatingly, before her name was called. Hermione turned from him and his kiss, and a moment later was caught up in the embrace of her two best friends, injured but alive. _

_When she glanced back at Draco over Ron's shoulder, he'd already walked away._

– – – – –


	2. Part 2

**To Have & To Hold** (2/4)

He'd been watching her all night, unable to take his eyes off her. He was playing a dangerous game, but alcohol and despair over his forthcoming nuptials made him foolishly bold. Feeling secure in the knowledge that if nothing came of it, he'd be no worse off than he was already, Draco felt the passing of each day bringing him closer to matrimony spur him on to take the chance.

He cornered her outside of the ladies loo, looking over his shoulder as she stepped out into the hallway and nearly into him.

Hermione gave him a questioning look before she side-stepped him when he failed to answer her unasked question.

"Wait," he said instantly, barely audible over the music from the pub, turning with her so they were once more face to face. He swallowed hard as Hermione waited patiently.

"I've- I've been thinking about it recently," he said finally. "The kiss," he explained before Hermione had a chance to ask him to elaborate. "What could've happened."

Hermione swallowed, not wanting to admit how often she'd thought the same. "What's the point in speculating?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest in a defensive pose, overdoing it in her fear of him having found her out.

"I-" Draco stopped. "I just thought..." He sighed. "Never mind." He turned to leave.

"What? What did you think?" Hermione asked, stopping him with a hand on his arm.

"I thought that maybe, before either of us entered into a more permanent relationship," ignoring the fact that technically he already had, "it might be good to see- to make sure there really is nothing between us. That it was just the heat of the very intense moment. That way, neither of us will ever wonder about it in the future."

Hermione stared at him. "You want us to kiss?"

Draco nodded.

"To make sure we are not suited for each other.

Draco nodded again.

"All right," Hermione shrugged as if she didn't care either way, all the while her heart pounding fiercely and her mind whirling with the implications. She uncrossed her arms and took a step closer.

Draco's heart jumped and tripled in speed. "Right- Right now?" he stammered, surprised at her easy acceptance. "Here?"

Hermione frowned. "Isn't that why you cornered me here?" she asked.

"Well, I- I didn't mean to _corner_ you as such, I just-"

"Draco," Hermione touched his chest, pressing closer as she felt through his robes how hard his heart beat; nearly rivalling her own, she was sure, "shut up."

With that, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his.

It took but a beat of a moment for Draco to react, before he pressed back; her lips opened under his as he eagerly touched them with his tongue, and her body moulded to his as he held her tightly.

The kiss was all consuming, but with little finesse; their hands careful not to explore too much but their lips and tongues having no such fear as they mated, their lips frantic and their tongues caressing.

Only when Hermione broke away for a moment to breathe did they pause, both gulping in air before diving back at each other near simultaneously, hungry for each other.

Draco backed Hermione into a wall, hoisting her up by her hips for better access as his lips continued to claim hers. They moaned into each other as Draco pressed his hardening length between Hermione's legs, splayed just enough for him to fit his hips into.

He held her up with his hands under her bum, his fingers biting into her flesh through her trousers as they kissed deeply. Her legs wrapped around his for better support, as her arms wrapped around his shoulders to hold him to her.

Hermione grinded her hips into his, feeling empowered when he groaned against her lips, nipping at them in retaliation as he hardened even further against her.

She arched her chest into his mouth as Draco trailed kisses down her exposed skin; moaning in appreciation as Hermione unbuttoned her shirt with one hand to give him more access. She threw her head back as his nose pushed down the cup of her bra, his mouth closing in on a hard nipple for the first time.

The sensation of being in his arms, his lips sucking delicately, almost hesitant and experimentally, on her nipple, tugging at it with his teeth as he held her up, pressed against a hard wall with his hard body and even harder cock pressing against the wetness that grew between her legs, was almost too much for Hermione. It was more than she'd ever fantasised would happen with him, and better than what she had fantasised over the years.

Unbeknownst to her, it was more than Draco had ever fantasised about her too.

She arched and moaned and pressed, urging him on. Draco didn't disappoint, as full of desire for her as she felt for him.

The music that'd been flowing from the speakers all night stopped abruptly and the sudden lack of sound startled Hermione. She opened her eyes to the now bright overhead lights. Blinking a few times, she leaned her head back against the wall and placed a hand in Draco's hair. "Draco," she said.

Draco, unconcerned and unknowing of the change in their surroundings, followed her, his lips claiming hers again.

Hermione let him, getting lost in the moment before she pulled away. "Wait, I think the pub is closing," she said, her voice hoarse and full of desire.

"Oh," Draco replied dazedly. They stared at each other for a moment before Draco slowly and regretfully let her back down on the floor.

"Um," Hermione tried, smoothing back her hair nervously after hurriedly buttoning her shirt back up, hoping she'd discretely been able to put her bra back in place. "I'm not sure what that proved," she attempted, swallowing.

Draco silently disagreed, but made a sound he hoped was enough in agreement, not wanting to give too much away of his feelings.

"I guess we should-" Hermione motioned towards the exit, half wanting to ask him to come with her, but knowing she shouldn't, even if she worked up the courage.

"Right, yes, I'm- Um, good night, Hermione," Draco said hurriedly before he escaped, leaving Hermione to stare after him as he left through the emergency exit in the back.

"Good night, Draco," Hermione said quietly to the empty space, before turning and walking out in the opposite direction.

Outside, in the alley, Draco leaned against the wall; his breath not yet recovered and his cock still painfully hard. He stared unseeing up at the night sky as he tried to calm himself.

He was to see her Sunday for lunch at the Burrow, and he wouldn't be able to interact with her if he thought of their kiss. Their magnificent and mind-blowing kiss.

Draco groaned and Apparated home. Hurrying up the stairs and into his room, he laid down on his bed, unbuttoned his straining trousers and began stroking himself.

He found release embarrassingly quick, but couldn't find it in himself to care.

Instead, he disrobed, cleaned up with a quick spell and crawled into bed.

Alone.

– – – – –

Draco was early. He'd needed to escape the Manor, and his mother's insessive wedding planning - she was now convinced that they shouldn't reveal the engagement until no more than four, preferably three, weeks before the wedding, certain as she was that any plans those they invited might've had for that they, they would cancel them immediately upon receiving their invitation to the wedding - and though he had considered going to Diagon Alley to wile away the time, he'd decided instead to go to the Burrow and visit with Molly, before everyone else arrived; she always smothered him with motherly love and he'd not spoken to her one-on-one for quite some time.

He'd Apparated in, and enjoyed the quick and quiet stroll through the gardens, before he entered the house from the backdoor. The door didn't squeak as it usually did, and he glanced up at it, figuring Arthur had finally gotten around to fixing it as he'd promised his wife for more years than Draco had been a constant and welcomed visitor.

He was just about to call out a greeting when he heard Hermione, and with his heart pounding fiercely, he snuck closer to listen, wondering - hoping - that she was telling Ginny about their kiss the night before; what better indicator of how she felt about him could he get?

Ginny sighed. "As I see it, you have two options; either you find yourself another virgin to do the deed with-"

Hermione scoffed. "And where would I find such a guy, who is not at least five years younger than myself?" she asked sardonically.

Ginny ignored her "- _or_, you find a man who knows what he's doing and doesn't mind teaching you," she concluded in an impish tone.

Draco gulped and blushed, unable to leave.

"And how would I be able to find such a man, who is also not a total creep?" Hermione asked. "No," she said, decidedly. "I'm just going to wait. I rather be with someone I actually cared for, even if it means I have to wait years, than to just have sex for the sake of it."

Ginny sighed dramatically. "Have it your way, but-" Draco could practically hear the hard stare she gave Hermione, "unless you put yourself out there and actually start going on dates and see if there's someone out there for you, you're not going to find such a person. You can't expect him to come looking for you, Hermione. You know better than that."

There was a pause before Ginny sighed again. "I just worry about you."

"There is nothing to worry about. I just haven't had sex yet - there is nothing wrong with waiting until you are in love."

"Unless you are in love, yet do nothing about it," Ginny said tiredly.

Draco started. Hermione was in love with someone?

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," Hermione replied, her voice hard and brooking no argument.

"Hermione-"

Just then, the front door opened and Molly entered, halting the girl's conversation.

Draco backed out, his mind in a turmoil. He sat down on the stoop the moment he reached it.

_Hermione_ was a virgin. She might possibly also be in love with someone, but it was too painful a thought to entertain.

Hermione, like him, wanted her first time to be with someone she loved, and although she might not be in love with _him_, she did care about him a great deal. He'd be gentle and loving and she would not easily find anyone who loved her as he did.

Draco shook himself out of the ridiculous fantasy before it took too much hold; despite the kiss suggesting she wanted him too, it didn't mean she wanted him that way, or that much.

Draco frowned. Although, maybe...

Ron arrived, halting Draco's scheming. After their customary good natured ribbing of a greeting, Draco followed the redhead inside - his eyes instantly meeting Hermione's. She smiled, Draco's heart skipped a beat and again, and he considered.

– – – – –

The night Harry turned twenty years old, Draco was a nervous wreck. It had been a week since he'd kissed Hermione against the wall of their favourite pub, and although they had seen each other at work since, by wordless agreement they hadn't spoken about it. Draco had been partially glad for Hermione's hesitance to speak of it, because he wasn't sure he was ready for the kind of conversation they _should_ be having; that he wanted her but they couldn't be _together_ - for long - because he would be married to Astoria before the year was out.

The house was crowded, full of old friends and new co-workers. Draco stood in a corner, leaning against the wall as he nursed his beer and watched the door to the kitchen like a stalker, waiting for Hermione to return through it.

It was getting late; but the party was still going strong. Though Draco had seen Hermione many times through-out the night, having followed her around just a bit, he'd not yet spoken to her, and though the party didn't seem to come to an end any time soon, he did not want the night to pass completely with them practically ignoring each other.

The door finally moved and Hermione followed Ginny out of the kitchen; the redhead laughing and Hermione looking somewhat put-out - her eyes met Draco's in the dim light and he was almost certain she was blushing.

Blaise walked past, clapping Draco on his shoulder, completely oblivious to the look shared between his friends, as he continued on his way.

Ginny whispered something to Hermione before she walked off, presumably to find Harry. Hermione hesitated a moment before she moved across the room towards Draco.

He stood straight as she neared, nervously eying her approach. Her eyes were on his, and just as Draco prepared to speak, her eyes cut away and she veered left, going up the stairs instead.

Draco stood in still surprise for a moment before he moved, hurrying after her up the steps. The door to the first floor bathroom had almost closed when Draco put his hand on it, preventing it from shutting.

The door opened; their eyes met.

"You can't just barge in when I'm going to the loo," Hermione said, shifting on her feet.

"Are you really going to the loo or are you hiding?" he asked, knowingly.

"Um," Hermione blushed. "But still, I mean-"

"Hermione," Draco said quietly, meaningfully.

She wetted her lips nervously, but moved back to let him in. Draco stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. The lock slid shut with a click and the sound echoed in the small room.

The mirror above the sinks took up half the wall; Draco cold see all of Hermione as she stood in front of it, her arms crossed, unknowingly pushing up her breasts. Her hip rested against the counter and her long legs stretched down from it, made all the longer by the skirt and heels she wore. Her hair was up; the bright red of the hair tie holding her mass of hair together in a rather messy bun at the back of her neck.

Draco walked the barely half a foot distance up to her, putting his lukewarm drink on the counter beside her before placing his hand on her hip. The fabric of her skirt was clingy and through it Draco could feel the warmth of her skin.

He moved even closer, but when he leaned in to kiss her, Hermione put a hand on his chest to stop him. Draco pulled back, frowning at her.

"You think you can just ignore me for days on end and then kiss me when you've had a drink?" she demanded.

"I wasn't- I thought we both- I just-" Draco tried, uncertain if she was joking or honestly mad at him.

"Yes?" Hermione's arms were crossed, but she'd not pushed him too far away that he could not still keep his hand on her hip. "Because if you think I will stand for _that_, then you best think again."

"Of course, it won't happen again," Draco agreed quickly, only thinking of how glad he was that she didn't seem too mad, rather than the consequences of not ignoring her in public. "May I kiss you now?"

"You may."

Draco, eager to feel her lips on his once more, wasted no time in claiming them. Their tongues and mouths mated as their hands caressed and explored for what felt like hours as they enjoyed each other uninhibitedly.

Draco pressed her back against the counter and pressed himself into her, his hands sliding down her sides to her hips and then further still, until he reached the edge of her skirt.

His hands slid in under the fabric at her thighs, sliding it up as his hands rose on her smooth legs. Hermione groaned into his mouth, clutching at his shirt to bring him closer to her, her tongue caressing his languidly. Draco's fingers trailed along the crease of her thigh and bum, and Hermione's body hummed in approval.

He pressed his hips into hers, moaning as she pressed herself closer and moved her own hips, almost caressing him through his trousers.

He palmed her bum as Hermione slid her fingers into his hair, their lips still desperately claiming each other and only releasing for brief gasps of air. Groping the soft flesh of her bum, when Draco slid his fingers in under the elastic of her knickers to place the whole palm of his hand on her skin, Hermione arched her chest into his.

She made noises he'd never heard before as he touched her, rising onto her toes so she could get even closer and Draco's head was, though clear of alcohol, cloudy and heavy with desire for the woman in his arms.

Feeling bold and empowered by her encouraging sounds, Draco removed his hand from her bum and instead pressed it against the wet spot that'd formed at the front of her knickers, accidentally pressing the back of his hand against his straining erection as well.

Hermione pulled away from his lips to moan and breathe his name and Draco, unable to keep his lips off her, pressed his against her neck instead.

He was just working up the courage to slide his finger in under her knickers to get closer to the wet heat underneath, when Hermione stopped him.

"We should probably get out of here before this goes any further," she breathed against his cheek.

Draco swallowed. Not trusting his own voice, he simply nodded.

Hermione took his hand as they walked out of the house; no one looking after them twice as they wound their way through the crowd of people and out the door. They didn't speak as they walked down the quiet and dark street on their way to the Apparation point, no sound of the party interrupting the night.

Draco's heart pounded fiercely in his chest as they walked, their steps echoing and their hands still wrapped together.

In no time, they arrived at Hermione's flat and as soon as the door was closed behind them, Draco was on her once more. He pressed her against the hallway wall, his tongue diving into her mouth to battle with hers with renewed vigour as she clutched at him and his jacket. It was left on the welcome mat by their shoes as they moved further into the dark flat.

Draco tripped over a pile of books and only that made him release his hold on Hermione.

"Where is the light?" he asked her, ignoring the slight pain in his chin as she stepped away to flick the switch.

"You've been here enough times that you should know that yourself," she teased as she walked back to him, but Draco wasn't listening.

In the light, he could see all of her; from her delicate and bare feet bringing her closer, the innocently seductive sway of her hips as she moving her closer, the hard nipples straining through the fabric covering her chest to her dark eyes, full of promises and lust, for him.

"There is something I have to tell you, I-" Draco swallowed his words about Astoria, hating the trusting and wanting look in her eyes. He wanted selfishly for her to look at him like that for the rest of their lives. It wasn't fair, that he'd been in love with her for so long and now, now that she seemed to be in favour of being with him too, he had to get married to someone else. "I- I like you," Draco said finally; understatement of the year.

"I like you too," Hermione admitted, "like _that_."

Draco grinned, his heart squeezing. "I mean like _that_ too," he assured her, as if not probably evident already by the way he'd kissed her.

"And I want you," Hermione said, now close to him again.

"Are you drunk?" he asked, suddenly unsure. She hadn't seemed drunk and he'd not seen her drink a lot at the party.

Hermione laughed. "No. Do I seem drunk?"

"No," he assured her, "it's just that you- you seem kind of bold. I didn't expect-"

She smiled, placing a hand on his chest to still his words. Draco was sure she could feel his rapid heartbeat through the fabric of his shirt.

"I had a talk with Ginny," she revealed.

Draco's eyes widened, but he said nothing.

"Or, it should be more accurate to say that Ginny had a talk with me." Hermione leaned up close and Draco placed his arms around her. "And I think it's time that I... took her advice."

With a smile, Hermione leaned in and pressed her lips against his. After a moment they moved, lips still locked together. They ended up on the floor in front of Hermione's unlit fireplace, where Draco lowered onto the soft rug she had placed there when the floo was off.

There, Draco needed only a little encouragement to caress her clothing away. His cock had been hard since he joined her in the bathroom, and it was now straining painfully as he palmed her full breasts, flicking his tongue over the nipples as he pleased. Hermione moaned and writhed under him as more clothes fell away, now from him as well. She still wore her damp knickers, Draco too nervous to remove them as he'd slid her dress down her legs and off.

He gazed up at her naked chest for a moment, before he moved up and experimentally took a nipple into his mouth, nibbling carefully on the erect bud. She made a sound of surprise mixed with pleasure, and immediately, Draco moved away, looking down at her in worry.

"No wait, that was good," Hermione told him.

Draco smirked and put his mouth on her again, this time bringing his hand up to touch her other breast at the same time. He laid on top of her, his lower stomach pressing against the apex of her thighs and her knees on either side of him. Hermione's hands were in his hair and she tugged on it as she arched into him.

He ran a hand down her side, grabbing at her bum. Hermione giggled as his nose brushed against the sensitive skin of her sternum. His fingers grasped the side of her knickers, about to pull them down as his mouth moved over her navel.

"Wait, I don't think we should- I mean I'm not, I'm not ready," Hermione admitted.

"It's all right," Draco reassured her, immediately making a move to move away and hoping he was able to hide the grimace of pain his physical state put him in. He was not going to push her.

"No, I mean-" Hermione stopped him and brought his form back to hers. "I mean we can still do things, like, um," she blushed, "I mean just not for _that_. I still want you, I just am not ready."

Draco looked at her for a long moment, caressing the side of her face as she lay underneath him, his near naked body covering hers. "So, er, what would we-?" he asked. "I mean, what would _you_ like to do?" he hurried to cover, hoping she hadn't noticed his hesitance and understood the reason why; that he knew so very little regarding the situation they were now in.

Hermione's blush intensified. "Well, we could-" she slid a hand down his chest, down to the elastic of his pants before sliding her small hand in under it to touch his cock.

Draco closed his eyes and groaned embarrassingly loud as she touched him hesitatingly. She stopped suddenly, looking up at him in worry.

"Is it-?"

"Don't stop," he groaned, leaning himself on one hand as he used the other to pull his pants down, to free his cock from the constraints as well as give her easier access.

Hermione helped him, and as soon as he'd kicked them off and onto the floor, he kissed her as she continued to move her hand over his cock. Her movements were artless in their inexperience, and not as hard or fast as Draco was accustomed to from his own hand, but still he came faster than he ever had before; he'd barely had time to warn her of his impending orgasm before it was upon her, coating her hands and stomach.

Before he'd even had a chance to catch his breath, he apologised.

"It's okay," Hermione assured him, moving underneath him. "Just, um- could you- ?" she pushed at his chest.

"Oh," Draco let out, disappointed. He moved to the side, almost into the hearth, grimacing inwardly as his come cooled uncomfortably on his skin. "I wanted to- I mean, to you."

"Oh," Hermione blushed as he looked at her; the overhead light putting her on full display. She covered her breasts as she sat, facing him. "God this is awkward."

Draco frowned. "Do you want me to-" he motioned to the door.

"No!" Hermione cried, her blush intensifying. "I just," she put a hand over her face as she mumbled, "I have no idea what I'm doing."

Draco smiled. "Me neither," he admitted.

Hermione looked up, doubt colouring her dark eyes.

"Honestly, I - I have no idea either." Draco leaned close, kissing her. "But maybe that's good. We could learn together," he mumbled into her cheek.

"I'd like that," Hermione replied, just as quietly.

"Will you let me touch you, like you did me?" Draco asked.

Hermione blushed brightly, bit her lip and nodded.

That night was the first time Draco Malfoy made a woman come.

– – – – –

They were early by design, Draco having asked Blaise to meet him at the pub an hour earlier than their usual time, needing to talk to someone. Out of all of their friends, though he wasn't in the same position as Draco in his own life, Blaise was the only one who would understand why Draco would allow his parents to arrange his marriage.

"Maybe you'll get lucky," Blaise said out of nowhere.

"About?" Draco asked carefully half convinced Blaise meant more like, _maybe you'll get lucky_ tonight.

"Maybe she hasn't had great sex, I mean, didn't she have a fling with Flint last year?"

Draco nearly choked on his drink. "_What_?" he hissed. "I can't marry someone who has had _sex_ with _Flint_!"

Blaise looked properly sympathetic. "And Nott," he said after a moment, nodding as he remembered.

Draco looked aghast.

"So I guess the pressure is on you after all, since from what I've heard, Nott at least knows what he's doing and gets around for a _very_ good reason."

"I refuse to let myself be compared to the likes of Flint and Nott!" Draco said, downing the rest of his drink in one big gulp.

Blaise shrugged. "You probably will be regardless."

Draco groaned. "I _knew_ she wasn't a virgin, her behaviour has made _that_ perfectly clear, but Flint? Nott?"

Blaise placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You think Astoria is being faithful?" Blaise mused after too long a silence, nursing his third drink.

Draco looked at him. "Why shouldn't she be?"

Blaise shrugged elegantly. "Once you've had great sex it's hard to stop, given a chance for it."

Draco frowned into his empty glass.

"Hey," Blaise suddenly cried, elegance gone as the alcohol clouded his eyes, "_you_ should have sex," he said with conviction.

Draco stared at him.

"Well," Blaise started, frowning slightly, "she's probably having sex, you should get some too!"

"So I should cheat on my, ugh, fiancée on the off chance she's cheating on me?" Draco asked dubiously.

Blaise shrugged again. "I just figured, given her experience and your, er, lack thereof, you might've wanted to practice a bit, so you know what to do on the wedding night and you don't disappoint her in bed."

Draco glared. "I honestly don't care if I disappoint her in bed," he said.

"Suit yourself," Blaise retorted. "Just remember, _women talk_."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

Blaise rolled his eyes. "You don't love her, she doesn't love you - I assumed adultery was a natural eventuality."

Draco frowned. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Maybe you should." Blaise allowed him a moment. "I know someone who would be able to help you. She's a gem, Draco; I still can't get her out of my head. She did this-"

"Stop," Draco held up a hand, "Please. I just have to put it behind me."

"All right," Blaise nodded. "I need more booze. You want something?"

Draco shook his head before Blaise walked off to the bar to replenish his drink, leaving Draco alone to think.

"Look who I found," Blaise said cheerfully as he came back to the table, drinks in hand and Hermione in tow.

"Maybe she'll be able to cheer you up, talk some sense into you."

Draco blushed as his eyes met Hermione's, glaring briefly at Blaise when Hermione turned to their friend, a small frown puckering between her eyebrows.

"Talk some sense about what?" she asked.

"Nothing," Draco quickly interrupted whatever Blaise had opened his mouth to say. They shared a look and Blaise nodded in understanding, keeping the secret.

"You know Malfoy, Hermione," he said, wrapping a friendly arm around her shoulder. "What _doesn't_ he need sense talking into him about?"

Hermione smiled as expected, extracting herself from under Blaise's heavy arm as she threw a look at Draco.

"Sit down?" Draco asked her, motioning to Blaise's chair.

Hermione did, sitting down her sensible and non-alcoholic drink on the table as she automatically turned her body towards Draco's. She gave him a small smile as his turned to hers; after a curiously quick glance to see that Blaise had turned to wave some other friends down, Draco smiled back and placed a hand on her thigh, squeezing it quickly.

He let go just before their table was overrun with drinks and _hellos_, as everyone gathered around to start the evening.

The dark hid Hermione's flush, but the message, as far as she was concerned, had been clear; _I want you, but let's not tell anyone_.

Hermione smiled and laughed and danced with her friends, unaware that as she did so, Draco warred within himself about his want for her.

He wanted to be strong enough to stay away; to go back to being friends, so that he could keep her in his life - so he could still be a part of her life. But he was selfish and he had wanted her for years and the kisses they had shared already had not been enough to satiate his desire, nor his fantasies for the many years that would come when he would not be able to have her.

Because Hermione would never be the type of woman to have an affair with a married man, that much he knew. Not even if she loved him. In fact, Draco frowned; if she loved him, she would hate him all the more for the hope he would've given her now.

Draco downed his seventh drink, relishing the burn.

He had to stop, he had to stay away - tell her the truth, deal with her anger and salvage what he would of their friendship.

He loved her and he had stop being selfish. Hermione's needs had to come first.

Draco looked at her, dancing with not a care in the world. He stared as if it was the last time he would see her.

Her _needs_ had to come first.

Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe he really was just a selfish and needy git, but by the time Hermione approached him where he stood by the bar, watching her, he'd justified his actions to the point where he felt no guilt in drawing her away from the crowd to kiss her deeply.

As she returned the kiss, allowing him to pull her tightly against him as their tongues met, nothing else mattered.

He returned home an hour later, buoyant and in love, touching his red and swollen lips, hard and smiling.

The smile fell as his father announced over a nightcap, that a date had been agreed upon for the wedding; it was to be a mere five weeks away.

– – – – –


	3. Part 3

**To Have & To Hold** (3/4)

A hard knock sounded throughout the small flat and Hermione looked up from the table she'd been in the process of cleaning. She put down the pile of news papers she was holding as well as the dusting rag, glancing down at her ensemble; flannel pyjama bottoms and spaghetti top, contemplating a quick change, before deciding that whomever had come to her door so early on a Saturday morning must be someone she knew and they had better not have expected her to be dressed for the day so early.

Looking through the peephole almost as an afterthought as she reached for the handle, Hermione almost reconsidered her decision not to change; outside stood Draco, shifting from one foot to the other as he glanced down the hallway and back at her door. Hermione stood frozen, undecided, when he knocked again, louder.

Hermione threw the door open. "Hi," she said.

"Hi," he returned. They looked at each other. "Can I come in?"

Hermione moved back and he stepped over the threshold, his hands in his pocket one minute, then mussing his hair the next as he shifted.

"I wasn't expecting company," Hermione told him, "or else I would've changed."

"What?" Draco seemed to notice her state of dress for the first time, his eyes lingering on her chest as he looked her up and down. "That's- that's all right."

Hermione closed the door; suddenly realising it had remained open and walked back into the living room. "Can I offer you tea? I just made some."

"No, that's- thank you, but I can actually come here to- to-" he broke off with a frustrated sigh. "I'm not good at this," he said, hands in his hair. "I don't know what to say." He looked at her, his eyes intense and imploring. "I-" he tried again, before giving up and instead moving forward, to show her.

Their lips met in a kiss; fierce and intense as their passion spiraled higher and higher.

Hermione found herself pushed up against the door to her bedroom, Draco's hands under her top and his tongue in her mouth.

"I need you," he told her, pushing his hips into hers. "I need you _now_."

Hermione moaned and nodded, not even pausing to think, to consider what might happen afterwards. "I want you too," she whispered.

Draco grinned and rewarded her with another kiss. "Bed?"

"Uhu, yeah," Hermione agreed, kissing his neck. They made out against the door for several more minutes before Hermione realised what he'd meant.

"In here," she said after she'd managed to pull away from his intoxicating lips and twisted the door knob.

The room was lit by the late morning sun and the bed was still unmade, but Hermione thought nothing of it and Draco paid it no mind.

They fell onto the bed locked in an embrace, and Draco, feeling bold by need and desperation wasted no time in undressing Hermione of the few items of clothing she had on. His clothes took longer, but quickly joined hers on a pile by the bed.

Skin to skin, they kissed and caressed, groped and nipped. Draco left a suction mark on Hermione's ribs as he touched her wetness with now sure fingers, before she tugged him back up.

Their eyes locked as Draco hovered above her. "Are you- I mean - do you- ?" he asked, swallowing.

Hermione touched the side of his face. "Yes," she said, entirely certain.

Draco lowered himself closer and carefully pushed inside of her. Hermione winced and he stopped, biting down hard on his lips to keep from shouting.

She moved her hips under his and Draco groaned, unable to keep from pushing further inside.

"Wait," Hermione breathed, a hand on his pounding heart, "wait, just a second."

Draco waited, his teeth biting down hard on his lip as he hovered above her. His eyes were squeezed shut; knowing as he did that if he opened them and saw her there, naked beneath him, he would lose it entirely.

"Are you okay?" he ground out between his clenched teeth.

"Yes," Hermione replied, moving her hips again experimentally. "Actually, I am better than okay."

Draco opened his eyes and met her brown ones instantly; Hermione smiled up at him and Draco leaned in to kiss her as he hesitatingly moved his hips.

When Hermione arched up into him, moaning into his mouth, Draco groaned and pushed in deeper, harder.

Hermione touched his back, holding him to her with her arms and wrapping her legs around his hips as Draco thrust into her. Their laboured breath mingled as they kissed.

"I'm not gonna- I can't stop-I-" Draco suddenly breathed, "I'm gonna- I can't- _Hermione_."

He collapsed on top of her, his body spent. Hermione caressed his back gently as Draco kissed her neck.

"I'm sorry," he said after catching his breath. "I didn't mean to- I just couldn't-"

"It's okay," Hermione said quickly. She made a move as to push him to the side and Draco frowned.

"Hey." He touched her cheek and her eyes flew up to meet his, her cheeks as red as his. "I had planned on making it up to you."

Hermione smiled shyly, her innocent face a complete contrast to the rest of her. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." With a groan, Draco pulled out of her, giving her a hard kiss on the mouth before moving down to her breast and lavishing them with his tongue.

"Draco," Hermione called after a moment, "I don't think I want _that_ right now, not after-"

He looked up at her, a slight frown of confusion marring his forehead. "What?"

"I mean-" Hermione's eyes widened with implication, "_that_. I mean, not that you're not good at it, but it's just- we just had sex and it's a bit... gross-"

"Oh!" Draco's cheeks reddened further as he glanced down. "I hadn't thought- I mean I wasn't gonna- I just wanted to lick your brea- I mean I just, um-"

Hermione laughed, all sign of her previous nerves gone. She grabbed a hold of his head and silenced his ramblings with a kiss. Draco pressed down on her, covering her body with his as they kissed; and Hermione only pushed him away to glance down in surprise.

"I thought you needed a bit more recovery time than that," she questioned.

Draco caressed her cheek before pressing a gentle kiss to her mouth. "When I'm with you? Not likely."

He kissed her again and moved above her. Just before pushing into her once again, he pulled back and looked down at her with a guarded expression.

"You are not too sore?" he asked gently.

"Draco, I would tell you," Hermione assured him, lifting her knees up to rest on either side of his hips and placing a hand on his lower back. "I promise."

"All right."

It took him longer the second time to find the right rhythm; far more gentle and hesitant now than he'd been the first time, when he had been unable to keep from seeking his own pleasure.

Hermione urged him on and with the help of his fingers on her clit and his lips on the most sensitive part of Hermione's neck, Draco made her come.

She threw her head back, arched her breasts into his naked chest, their slick skin moving against each other - and then she'd groaned his name and Draco came again, producing only a guttural sound which was supposed to be her name.

Afterwards, they lay side by side, breathing hard.

"That was-" Draco started, turning to face her, "_amazing_."

Hermione laughed, kissing him as he moved closer to hold her.

"It was," she agreed.

In silence they laid as the morning sun continued to shine in on them and outside the streets filled with Saturday strollers.

"Are you sure you're not too sore?" Draco asked quietly, a hand caressing up and down her stomach; from her throat, in between her breasts, around her navel and down to just where her dark thatch of hair grew.

"I'm fine," Hermione said, looking at him. "And besides I- wait, too sore for what?"

With a smile, Draco moved over her again. Hermione laughed as he kissed her. "We have all the time in the world," she said, smiling.

Draco's heart tugged, but he ignored it, kissing her again instead.

– – – – –

"Good morning," Hermione smiled as Draco wrapped himself around her from behind, burrowing his nose into her hair. "Coffee?" she held up the pot of newly brewed beverage, leaning into him as one of his hands slipped in under the shirt she wore, dragging it up and exposing her knickers.

"You're wearing my shirt," Draco said, his voice rough with sleep. "It's very sexy."

Hermione put the pot down and turned, unable to contain a small yelp of surprise as Draco grabbed her and put her on the kitchen table. A knife clattered to the floor, but neither paid it any mind as Draco kissed her.

In the two weeks since their first time, Draco had learned a lot and he now used all of his knowledge as he touched her. Impatiently, he ripped open the shirt, scattering the buttons all over the kitchen floor, as his mouth closed in on an exposed nipple.

Their sex was frantic; as their time was unknowingly to Hermione coming to an end, and it made Draco desperate.

Breathing hard, Draco held her down on the table, kissing any place he could reach as he thrust into her hard and fast, using the floor for leverage as he stretched and filled her again and again Hermione arched her back and simply let him, enjoying the feel of him so desperate for her he hadn't even fully removed his pants before he'd entered her.

After they both came, with a grunt and a cry each, they remained on the table, Hermione's legs wrapped around him and Draco's upper body covering hers.

_I love you_, he thought, but knew he couldn't say so. Instead, he whispered, "_Volo consumo ceterus of meus vita vobis_," into her skin before kissing her hard.

"What was that?" Hermione asked when he moved away, sitting up and wrapping the now ruined dress shirt around herself.

"Nothing," Draco lied, smiling and kissing her. With a smirk, he held up her knickers. "Mind if I keep these?"

Hermione blushed brightly, but made no comment, so Draco took it as agreement. He kissed her again, before glancing at the clock.

It was still early, but soon the Prophet would be out - complete with an engagement notice for him and Astoria.

"Hermione-" Draco started, hating himself not just a little, watching as she walked back to her bedroom.

"Hey, do you want to come with me to the British Museum? They have that new exhibit I mentioned earlier, and I think you might like it."

"I- I can't," Draco said, following. "My mother has a lunch," _to discuss the finishing touches of the engagement party_, "that I can't get out of."

Hermione turned and smiled, coming up to kiss him. "That's ok, maybe next week?"

Draco tried to smile as he wrapped his arms around her. "Yeah, maybe."

"Do you have to leave right now, or are you staying for a shower?"

"I would love to stay, but I really have to go," Draco said, regretfully. "But hey," he held her head in his hands, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. "Never forget that I- that I really want you."

Hermione frowned. "All right." She crocked her head. "You all right?"

_No_. "Yes." He leaned down and kissed her, slow and deep, until they were both completely breathless.

– – – – –

Draco glanced nervously towards the door. When his mother had said only important people had been invited he had never expected so many of his friends. For though they were important to him, save for perhaps Harry Potter, none of them could further the Malfoy family's standing in the Wizarding World.

When Neville and Luna had shown up together with Blaise, Draco had been shocked and terrified, but he'd comforted himself with the knowledge that his parents had invited important people who still, secretly, held onto the importance of pureblood. And however much his mother might like Hermione, they wouldn't risk inviting her as well.

But then the Weasley's had shown up, and Draco had had to escape the ballroom in a panic, because he knew then Hermione had been invited too.

Only then, when everything was about to crash down around him, did the consequences of his selfish actions hit him, of what it would mean not just his relationship with Hermione, but with all of those friends he now had that had once been only hers, and who would surely stand on her side.

None of their friends looked at him like they might know - not even Ginny; they all congratulated him, sincerely, though with varying degrees of surprise.

When Hermione showed up – _if_ she showed up – everything would come to light and he would lose her completely.

He groaned as if in physical pain, leaning back against a nearby wall for strength.

Only that morning they had been together and now... What she must've thought, how she must've reacted when she read the wedding announcement.

Through the open doors, Draco saw his mother; she was smiling. He hated her then, just a little even though he knew he was really the one to blame.

If she had not pushed him to agree to marrying Astoria, or allowed her to insist they wrote up a formal contract, or never questioning why she wanted to wait with the announcement, he wouldn't have been in this mess.

It was no wonder really, that the sorting hat had refused to put him in Gryffindor; he was a coward. Only pursuing Hermione when he had nothing to lose if she wasn't interested back, and then blaming his mother for the mess he'd put himself in.

The front door was thrown open and Draco startled at the sound. Hermione stormed in, immediately catching sight of him and even across the distance he could see her eyes narrowing.

"Miss, Miss!" cried the house elf appointed to checking the invitations as it scurried after her. "Miss!"

Hermione waved the invitation in its face, releasing her grasp on it as soon as the creature took the notice.

"Welcome, Miss!" it cried enthusiastically once it'd assured itself she had in fact been invited, before turning back to the door.

"_You_," Hermione hissed, coming closer.

Draco tried to back away, but only managed to step into the wall.

The ballroom doors were open and, not wanting anyone to witness the confrontation he knew would follow, before Hermione had said another word, Draco grabbed her arm and moved her further down the corridor.

"What are you-? Let me go!"

Draco threw open a small door next to the portrait of his great-great aunt and pushed Hermione inside of what had once been a coat closet hiding an entry to the dungeons. The light switched on automatically.

He closed and locked the door before turning to Hermione. "Now-"

She slapped him hard across the face, the sound echoing within the small empty space.

"You miserable son-of-a-bitch," Hermione said, her voice low with hurt. "How long did you think it would take before I found out? You selfish _bastard_. You should've told me."

"I tried to tell you once-"

"_You tried to tell me once_? You should've tried to tell me _everyday_." She laughed hollowly. "So what was I then? A last fling? Someone to teach you how to please a woman? You certainly wanted to study often!"

"No!" Draco cried horrified. "It's never been like that. I- I just wanted my first time to be with someone I lo-"

Hermione reeled back as if slapped. "Don't you dare," she hissed, reaching out to slap him again.

Draco, noticing the movement, grabbed her wrist, pulled her to him and kissed her. For a moment all was well as their mouths mated as they had only hours ago, _before_.

Hermione moved back. Draco followed, until Hermione stopped him with a hand on his chest.

"Don't," she whispered.

"I just thought we could-"

"No." Hermione let out a wry laugh. "I thought things too. But I guess I thought wrong. First time for everything, right? Just like me to be wrong about this, about _you_."

She looked up at him, hurt shining in her eyes.

"You're not wrong about me."

"But I am. I was. I thought we- I thought-" she shook her head. "I guess it really doesn't matter what I thought."

Draco stepped closer. "Hermione, I-"

She held up a hand, halting him. "Save it," she said, her voice hard and cold. "Don't talk to me again."

She pushed him to the side and left, slamming the door behind her. Draco quickly followed. "_Hermione_."

"There you are, sweetie," Astoria cried from the doors of the ballroom as he walked past. "Come here." She held out her hand, a strained smile on her lips as Draco made no move towards her, staring instead unseeingly after Hermione.

"Draco."

He turned towards Astoria, plastering a fake smile on his face as he noticed the many faces watching them with curious expressions. He took her hand and led her back into the crowd.

– – – – –

**Note**:_Volo consumo ceterus of meus vita vobis_ means, according to my Google Translator; I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

**Additional** **Disclaimer**: "I tried to tell you once-" "_You tried to tell me once_? You should've tried to tell me _everyday_." is more or less paraphrased from Sex and the City, Movie One.


	4. Part 4

**To Have & To Hold** (4/4)

Hermione snuck down the hallway, hating herself for her cowardly behaviour but still unable to face him. She hadn't seen Draco in weeks, not since the _engagement party_ and she refused to do so now; she wasn't ready and what would she have said – _see you at the wedding Saturday_?

She hated that she had been invited and was expected to go. No one was on her side and would understand why she didn't want to see him marry someone else - how could they, when to every one of their friends they were merely great friends and co-workers.

Hermione hadn't even confided in Ginny, fearing what the redhead would say. Most likely she would suggest Hermione did something outlandish, like stop the wedding and declare her love for him publicly.

But he had made his choice, and it hadn't been her.

Hermione didn't know how she would be able to be friendly towards him again, but at least he had not known she loved him deeply. That was her sole comfort; that he may have used her, but he didn't know how much she'd wanted to share her life with him, or how much she now hurt.

Though it was technically just another day at work, with "_The Wedding of the Century_" the following day, Draco had been given time off - more like he'd demanded and the Minister had simply agreed. As such, Hermione no longer needed to walk softly and cast glances over her shoulder nervously as if she was being followed, but as she neared Draco's door, she still did.

His secretary was not at her desk and Hermione sighed, having hoped she could simply leave the documents with her.

Squaring her shoulders and reminding herself she was a Gryffindor, she approached the door and opened it. The room was dim, only the light coming from the magical window showing her way as she stepped inside. The door closed automatically behind her and Hermione jumped slightly.

"You are being ridiculous," she told herself, resolutely marching up to his desk to place the folder on it. She slammed it down, groaning when the slight wind caused a piece of parchment to flutter to the floor on the other side of his desk.

Hermione walked around and bent down, quickly locating the parchment under his chair. Replacing it on the desk in the approximate place it had been previously, she was about to leave when the sole photograph on his desk caught her eye. Frowning, she studied it.

She refused to believe that even Draco had so big of an ego that he kept a framed photo of himself on his desk, yet the evidence certainly said that was the case. And more than once, she had come into his office to find him with the frame in his hands, staring at it, reliving his glory days perhaps.

The Quidditch-clad Draco winked at her and Hermione swallowed thickly as he smiled and gave her _that look_. The one he'd been unable to hide, the one that told her he was about to kiss her.

Not even realising she'd done so Hermione leaned forward and picked the frame up. Holding it in both of her hands, she gasped as the image shimmered and changed, revealing a photograph of _her_.

Hermione dropped the frame and it clattered to the desktop, the image instantly changing back. Hardly believing her eyes, she picked it up again. But not until she placed her fingers just so on the edges of the frame did the image change.

Hermione stared as her eighteen-year-old self waved, smiling wide. She sat down heavily, her heart hurting. She remembered when this photo had been taken; at Harry's eighteenth birthday party. Blaise had found a camera and spent the night flashing away, temporarily blinding more them one person.

This was what Draco had been looking at, all those times she'd come in and he'd been holding the frame, much as she was now. A tear fell down her cheek and as she reached up to brush it away, the image changed back to Draco again.

Another tear fell as she reached out and traced his features through the glass.

Swallowing heavily, Hermione eventually replaced the frame on his desk and rose. Her cheeks wet, she made sure to make herself presentable before stepping out of his office, narrowly missing running into Shelley.

The secretary frowned at her.

"I had to drop off some papers," Hermione offered in explanation as she rushed off, uncaring if Shelley called after her.

Hermione, instead of heading to her office as she should, walked to the Atrium and from there, Flooed home. She collapsed on the rug in front of her fireplace, breaking down into sobs instantly.

Allowing herself only a few minutes of sorrow, Hermione tried to pull herself together.

"He is getting married tomorrow," she said into her empty flat - so much emptier now after having been filled with Draco.

She hated him more in that moment than she ever had - even more than when she found out he'd been using her and was getting married.

Because this, this photograph, it had to _mean something_.

Why else would he have a photograph of _her_ on his desk, hidden away. And he had had it for a long time - Hermione still remembered the first time she'd walked in on him holding it, merely a week after they started working together. Then, he'd hidden the photo in a drawer and blushed when she'd teased him about it.

He looked at it often, far too often for him to not have some type of feelings for her . Yet, when given the chance, when evidence of her want for him - if not her _love_ - had been presented to him quite openly, he'd chosen instead a girl so unlike her it was almost as if he-

Hermione groaned painfully. It had to come back to that then; her blood and lack of lineage.

It had to be.

She cried and she hated him all night. When morning dawned on Draco's wedding day, Hermione was fresh out of tears but determined and strong. She decided with a firm nod to herself to go to the wedding – and stop it.

– – – – –

"I'm in love with Hermione Granger," Draco repeated.

Blaise stared. "Since _when_?"

"Since..." Draco shrugged, "I don't even know. _Years_."

They stood in silence, staring at each other; Blaise in disbelief and shock and Draco scarcely less so, having thought he'd take his true feelings with him to the grave.

"What are you going to do?" Blaise asked after a moment.

"What can I do? Hermione hates me now, I-"

"Wait; did something happen between the two of you?"

Draco bit his lip as his cheeks coloured. "You could say that," he said, not elaborating.

"That would explain why she's not out there," Blaise mumbled. They stood staring at each other in silence for a moment. "You are unhappy," Blaise stated.

"I am," Draco agreed. "I'm getting married to a girl I don't like, I'm in love with a woman who hates me because of said wedding. I'm miserable."

"I'm not sure I've got the whole picture here, Draco, but if you're so miserable, maybe you should just... not get married?"

"And risk losing everything?" Draco retorted, turning back to the mirror to once again move his tie a centimetre in a frustrated manner.

Blaise frowned behind him. "Haven't you already lost everything?" he asked.

There was a knock on the door just then, and Blaise turned to the sound.

"I'll head out there and deal with whatever that is. Draco, just... I can't tell you what to do; I know you feel you have to obligate your family, but, Draco, for the love of Merlin, follow your heart for once in your life!"

With that, Blaise left Draco in front of the mirror, contemplating his life.

Draco stared at himself, long and hard. "Follow your heart," he told himself; the words sparking a recollection of one of the far too few nights he'd spent curled around Hermione in her bed. She'd said much the same; that following your heart, taking a chance, regardless of the risks to oneself, was both brave and worth it. He'd laughed at the time, called her a silly and sentimental Gryffindor before kissing her. She'd smiled at him in return. She'd been happy with him.

He had been happy too.

Draco squared his shoulders, corrected his tie one last time and with a smile, stepped out of the door. He glanced down the hallway and towards the open doors leading to the altar, where Blaise stood waiting for him. Their eyes locked, before Draco turned his head and looked the other way, towards the open doors; leading to freedom, leading to Hermione, leading to love and happiness.

He glanced back at Blaise, who nodded at him with a smile of understanding and support.

Draco turned and walked towards the outside, following his heart. The sun was glaring outside after the dimness of the rooms inside so he stopped to squint in the bright light. In doing so, he spied a figure seated on the front steps, her light shimmering dress draped across the stone, and her face turned up to soak in the sun. His heart skipped a beat, and smiling, he stepped down to sit beside her.

Hermione turned to him, her eyes widening as their eyes met for the first time since their fight, three weeks previous.

"Hello," he said gently. He doubted she would accept his touch, so he tightened his hands into fists which he rested in his lap to prevent himself from reaching out for her.

"Hi," she replied quietly. "Shouldn't you be inside?" she asked after a moment, just as the bells overhead started to ring slowly, signalling that the ceremony was about to commence.

Draco sighed. "Shouldn't you?" he nodded towards the dress she wore, and her hair twisted up in an elegant knot at the back of her head. It was obvious she'd dressed up for the wedding.

Hermione looked away. "I was going to," she gave a hollow laugh.

"What?" he prodded gently.

"I was going to stop you from going through with it," Hermione admitted.

"Why didn't you?" he asked.

"I couldn't- I just-"

Draco, unable to help himself, reached out a hand and placed it on her bare shoulder. She turned to him, a sliver of hope colouring her dark eyes. He swallowed hard. "I couldn't either," he said. He took a leap. "You see, I'm in love with this girl..."

Hermione let out a breath she'd been unaware she'd been holding at his words; the way he looked at her. "You really mean it?"

Draco smiled, his hand sliding down her shoulder to clasp her hand. "I really mean it," he agreed.

"You hurt me," she told him.

"I know," Draco squeezed her hand. "You have no idea how sorry I am for that. If you'll let me, I will spend every day of my life making it up to you."

"What about your family?" Hermione asked carefully.

"If they can't accept it..." He shrugged. "Besides, I'd much rather create a new family, with you."

Hermione leaned forward and kissed him gently, her lips barely touching his before he pushed forward and into her. Their kiss deepened quickly. The bells above them finished their ringing, far too early; Blaise must've stopped them, and remembering where he was made Draco break away from her lips.

"Me too," Hermione whispered against him. She caressed his face gently, smiling as they gazed at each other.

"We should probably get going," Draco said, standing. He held out his hand to her, and when she took it, he helped her to her feet.

Together, they left the church behind.

– – – – –

_Draco stood in front of the mirror, resisting the urge to fix his tie one last time. He smiled at his reflection, touching the sides of his hair and moving a few strands in the process. The door opened behind him and Blaise stepped in. _

_"You ready?" he asked, smiling. _

_Draco nodded and turned. "I'm ready." _

_"You're not going to run away again?" Blaise teased. _

_Draco hit him with a closed fist on his shoulder, unable to stop smiling. "Why would I run away, when the person I most want to run to is waiting for me?" he asked. _

_"True," Blaise agreed. "You sap."_

_Draco shot him a look as they stepped out of the doom and made their way to the front of the small church. Draco took his position beside Blaise in front of the altar, turning towards the doors to wait for his bride. _

_His eyes caught sight of his parents, seated together; his mother dabbing at her eyes with a white handkerchief and his father smiling back at him. It hadn't taken as long as Draco had believed it would for his parents to accept Hermione; they both realised how serious he was when he announced, merely a month after his not-wedding to Astoria, that he and Hermione were getting married. His mother had even offered to plan the wedding, but as theirs was a small and intimate affair, as opposed to the public circus his mother had wanted to plan, they'd declined her involvement. She had been disappointed and had even tried to push, but when Draco revealed that all he needed was Hermione, the required number of witnesses and someone to officiate; she'd accepted her lack of involvement in exchange for a proper wedding for her only son. _

_It was not the splendour Narcissa had once envisioned, but the small village church in Wiltshire was just perfect for the two of them. _

_The bridal march started, and as the doors opened, Draco took a deep breath. _

_Hermione stepped in on Arthur's arm, and as their eyes met, they both smiled. Draco didn't see the small number of guests as she glided past them; only her, and her progress towards him. _

_Once Hermione stood in front of him, her hand in his, Draco whispered, _"I love you."

**The** **End**.

**Prompt**: In the lead up to his wedding to [character of your choice], Draco fears he wont be up to much a visits a "sex teacher" to prepare him for the big day.**  
>Ship<strong>: Any**  
>Additional comments<strong>: And additional twist could be that his teacher turns out to be his future bride in disguise.


End file.
